Bad hair day
by Spyder1070
Summary: Even famous people can't always get their hair to do as it's told. ONE SHOT.


In the deep underbelly that is Kongs car park. A lone wind howls quietly in the dank corners and the sound of water droplets, echo loudly from somewhere in the darkness. A chill fills the air and the faint sound of a motor clicking and buzzing can be heard faintly overhead. All is typically quiet for now, as the band members sleep soundly through the morning. Last night they had finished an interview and then moved off to a party held in their honour. Russel had brought Noodle home early as usual, and 2D and Murdoc had stayed on till a fair while later. So the chances of either of those two being up any time soon, where quite thin.

Outside in the hallway near Russels room. The sound of coughing fills the air as the large American wakes and begins his usual routine. The sound of the bed creaking and groaning as the Drummer shifts his weight. Followed quickly by complaint as he accidentally steps in one of the many empty food containers, spread out across his bedroom floor. This is quickly followed by rustling as it sounds as though the large man has decided to pick a few of them up and tidy a little around his room.

Outside Noodles door. It sounds as though the young girl has been awake for some time. A dull thumping can be heard, followed by sharp cries in Japanese. As Noodle practices her Karate. A sharp click echoes it's way down the corridor, as the elevator near her room tries and fails once again to move. Still locked between floors the motor whines out and finally stops. Returning the corridor to almost silence. The sound of the air-conditioning rattling and humming quietly, replacing the sound of the failed elevator motor.

An hour later. Talking can be heard in the kitchen. Russel and Noodle quietly talk to one another over breakfast. They hear a noise coming from the corridor and look up in time to see a rather dishevelled 2D step into the room. Yawning and mussing his blue hair sleepily.

"Mornin'." 2D yawns as he moves slowly to the fridge to grab some milk for his cereal. The other two band members smile and grunt their replies, before continuing their conversations. The Keyboardist sits down and takes his bowl from the centre of the table. Opening the box of Shreddies, he habitually peers inside before pouring the contents out into his bowl. He looks up at the other two sleepily for a moment and half listens to what they are talking about. But finding it is nothing that interests him, returns his attention to his breakfast. Closing the cereal box and returning it to the centre of the table. He opens the milk and pours some of it into his bowl. Finally done. He picks up his spoon and yawns, his head lolling back a little on his shoulders. The young mans shoulders slump and his head droops forwards. Suddenly he falls dead asleep, face first into his breakfast. Russel and Noodle briefly look up as the young man gurgles into the bowl. Almost as if routine and without really stopping their conversation. Russel lifts the young mans face out of the bowl. As Noodle drags it to one side. Dropping the youth heavily back onto the table, to continue sleeping off the events from the night before.

Back down in the car park. Hacking and coughing can be heard coming from inside the Winnie. The sound of a bottle clinking to the floor and a string of random swear words follow. It almost seems as though the other sounds that are usually heard in the car park stop. Silence. It seems as though the other things are holding their collective breaths. As if afraid to let Murdoc know of their presence. A scraping sound comes from one of the Winnie s windows, as Murdoc opens it. Cawing can be heard as Cortez flies out the now open window. The Ravens loud irritating voice filling the noiseless void in the car park. Once again bringing it to life.

Inside the Winnie. Murdoc grumbles and complains to himself, as he rolls his aching shoulders and makes his way over to the toilet. His hacking cough once again filling the air as he relives his bladder. The old man snorts as he clears his sinuses, spitting the disgusting colored fluid into the bowl as he continues urinating. He strains his neck to one side, loudly cracking the bones in his neck and now finally relieved, puts his member back into his filthy underpants and wanders back towards his bed. Sitting heavily down, the old man slumps and violently ruffles his hair, trying to wake himself up. Shaking the tiredness from him and stretching out his legs in front of him, his knees and ankles clicking loudly as he flexes his toes. Once again placing his bare feet on the floor. He arches his back and reaches his hands to the Winnie ceiling. Loudly yawning. Finally he lets his whole body flop, and shakes the final stages of sleepiness from himself. He smacks his lips loudly and now wide awake, searches for the bottle he'd accidentally dropped onto the floor.

Swigging from the bottle of Rum. Murdoc searches the cupboard for something to wear. One of the people he'd met at the party the night before. Was a photographer from a pornographic magazine. Razzle. The guy had told the Bassist, that quite a few women had written in and wanted to see picture of him in his full "Glorious nakedness." And after a bit of "Umming and Ahhing." Murdoc and the photographer worked out a time for the next day. Given this chain of events had made Murdoc s night that night. The old man wanted to look his best today. Murdoc was now in a surprisingly excellent mood. Brimming with confidence and smiling broadly. Everything had to be perfect. Not that that would be hard in his opinion. He was already perfect to begin with. He hums happily to himself and searches the cupboard for a very nice pair of underpants he'd bought some time ago. He'd thrown them in here and had never worn them. So apart from being clean. They didn't have the appearance of being gnawed on, by a pack of insane dogs. He finds them and drops them on the bed. Then searches for some no too bad smelling jeans. He stops for a moment and wonders if he should just wash some and shove them in the dryer? But quickly shrugs and decides it's not that important. 'Besides. He's going to be doing this shoot naked. Why bother with stupid details like that?' He thinks and picks up a very nice pair of black denim jeans. He sniffs them and finds that surprisingly, they almost smell clean. Shrugging, he drops them beside the underpants on the bed. Finishing off the ensemble with his favourite purple shirt. Murdoc heads to the Winnie bathroom to give his teeth a quick once over and do his hair.

Outside in the car park. The lone wind howls gently in the corners. The soft sound of dripping seems to answer it and the faint hum of the lights over head, completing the chorus of sounds. Suddenly the air is cracked through with a loud blood-curdling scream. Cortez, who had been quietly sitting on the roof of the Winnie preening his wing feathers, screeches in response and takes flight. Straight into the car park roof and almost knocking himself out. He flops to the ground on his back and kicks out with his feet till finally he rights himself. Hop-running to hide under one of the nearby cars.

Back in the Winnie. Murdoc is staring open mouthed at his reflection in the toilet mirror. His face a mask of pure horror. His hair even more frightening than the scream which he himself had just emitted. He rubs his eyes with the heels of his palms and looks at his reflection again. Hoping he was imagining the way his hair looked. But it's still as bad. Quickly stepping to the sink, he turns on the water and taking handfuls of it. Wets down his hair and tries in vain to make it look much better. This seems to work for a moment, but soon it springs back to how it was before. And oddly now seems to look even worse. He grabs a towel and wets it. Wringing it out a little in the barely used shower. He drapes the towel over his head and crouches down to search the small cabinet under the sink for some kind of gel or spray he can use to fix his hair.

"Christ! Why today? Any other day, I wouldn't give a toss. But I'm not missin' this photo shoot fer anythin'. Where's that shit?" He finds a can of hair spray and stands up. Taking the towel off his head and spraying his hair liberally. He picks up the comb and attempts to comb it flat. Then the spray hardens and the comb becomes tangled. And now he can't get that out. "AAARRRGGGHHHHHH! YOU BASTARD! FLATTEN!!!!" The Bassist screeches and using the palms of his hands, tries to flatten his hair down. But it just springs back into what now looks like a very dirty, over stuffed hedgehog. He stares at it wide eyed and goes back to the cabinet and pulls out his hair straightening iron.

"You haven't beaten me yet you bastard. I've still got this." He snarls at his reflection. He plugs the device in and tries once again in vain to work the comb loose. But only manages to tangle it even further. He takes the iron and working in small sections. Slowly tries to flatten his hair. After half an hour, Murdoc looks at his reflection in the mirror and sobs. Now it looks like the dirty overstuffed hedgehog, had mated with a French Poodle and it's offspring had decided to take up residence on top of his head. "WHAAAAAAAGH! Why me?" Murdoc unplugs the iron and walks with it to the front door of the Winnie. He opens the door and pulling his arm back with all his might, pitches the iron as hard as he can out the door. 2D sleepily steps into the corridor and sees the iron zoom through the air. Confused he turns and looks towards the Winnie and sees Murdoc and his bad hair. The young man blanches with fright and falls to a dead faint on the floor. Murdoc looks at the young man in wide eyed surprise. Then remembering his rebellious hair, drops his palms on his head. Holding the untameable hair style down.

"Oh fuck off! It ain' that bad," He snarls at the unconscious Keyboardist. And briefly letting one side of his hair spring back to a strange puffball, grabs the Winnie door and slams it shut. Murdoc goes back to his bed and rings the photographer, trying to schedule another day for the photo shoot. But is told that it's a one off. Not willing to be photographed looking the way he is. Murdoc sadly waves it off. Deciding to spend the rest of the day in his Winnie instead.


End file.
